Farming Families

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 14:04:00 -0600

Families on old times used to be really big. Lack of access to online pornography meant that people had to actually get naked with their partners in order to enjoy the goodies afforded to the opposite sex. Lack of access to birth control meant that every bedroom romp came with some chance to extending one's parenthood journey for an additional eighteen years.

We were visiting the family last week, talking about the massive numbers of children that my parents' grandparents had. My sister rationalized that back then, the children were also counted on as farm hands.

"My grandmother was no farmer," replied my dad.

"She just liked getting plowed."

I was a beat late with that last line, and it went unheard. Fortunately, I have a blog so I can repeat my own jokes.